How to take control of what you’re telling yourself!

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Discovering your ‘Inner Committee’ and the language they use.

Each and every day our ‘inner committee’ is talking to us. Sometimes this talk can be negative, sometimes positive. As you become aware of the ‘internal chatter’ you become equipped with how to manage the negative, non supportive banter and take positive action to manage it. This may seem a rather simple exercise but it really does increase your awareness and helps you choose how you want to react in a particular situation and build your confidence. This may identify areas that you might wish to explore with me as your coach.

You will need:

  • A largish piece of paper
  • Lots of coloured pens
  • Your favorite tipple ( tea, coffee, wine?)
  • A quiet and comfortable place
  • An hour or so

You do not need to be an artist….stick men will do! ( Download example)

Sit quietly and think about your goal.

Just pay attention to what is going on. Your breathing, your feelings and your emotions.

Take a piece of paper. Use of coloured pens is a good idea here.

Draw a circle in the middle of your paper. Give the circle eyes, a nose and a mouth. Is it a smiley mouth or a sad mouth?? Just do it without thinking too much. Write ‘ME’in the middle of the circle and draw whatever other attributes you need for it to be a version of you. This is a MIND MAP.

Now thinking about this exercise, begin to listen to those inner thoughts that arise as soon as you allow yourself to become quiet. Maybe………….

“This is ridiculous; I haven’t got time for this!”

Draw a line from the circle to the outside of the paper as close or far as you wish. At the end of the line think of a name you would like to call this thought.
“Ahh, so this is Mr Ridiculous?”
Write Mr Ridiculous at the end of the line. You might want to draw what he might look like. Use your imagination to see what expression he has on his face. What is he wearing? What kind of clothes might he wear? What feelings does he generate in you? Where are they in your body?

“Well, Mr Ridiculous, why are you bringing yourself to my attention?” (Our inner committee wants our attention).

“What do you wish to tell me?”

Mr Ridiculous: “Well, this is stupid, this is wasting time, we should be getting on with our work!”

You: “What work?”

Mr Ridiculous: “The work we have come here to do. I don’t want to try anything new. Something might happen, I don’t want to change. I’m afraid of change. It is not safe to change!”

Another thought enters: “Now, now don’t panic. We don’t have to do this we are trying new things”.

Draw a line from face of ME, outwards and you might like to name the thought – Mrs Grandma Reassuring.

Keep going with drawing new ‘voices’ and images as you have an internal dialogue with yourself over this and future projects.

As we become attentive to the personalities and when you have a picture or visual and written down the details, you can listen to the member and work out what they want and how you can help them get it.

As the personalities emerges, and you see the role they are playing in your life it becomes easier to discuss away the bothersome feeling and beliefs that they generate. Become aware of how those members of your committee that are affecting your physiology.

“I’m open to the possibility that this may be an old belief that I inherited from ????”

“Even though Mr Ridiculous is keeping me stuck, I respect and accept him; I thank him for keeping me safe from putting myself out there and I’d like to invite him not to work quite so hard. Maybe he could work with me instead!”

N.B.

I personally have a negative voice I call Mr Grumpy that pops up every now and then telling me I can’t do this or that, I thank him, I then imagine lifting him off my shoulder and then I lock him in my filing cabinet…I literally get up and open the draw and ‘file’ him!  If I’m out and about when he pops up I lock him in my car boot! Makes me feel better and more confident every time!

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